goals

I love my sport. Every day that I am in the gym, on the course, or traveling to my next event is a good day. I live for the moments on the course when I visualize the perfect shot and then execute it perfectly in the heat of the battle. I have trained my whole life to be where I am right now. I have relished competition in every facet of my life for as long as I can remember and golf has never been an exception. I am competitive and stubborn to a fault. If I do not win, I’ll stay and work until I know how to succeed next time.

Possessing this drive and determination does not mean that it is singularly focused on golf. Academic achievements have to be pursued. Every scrap of energy and emotion must be poured into relationships. Nothing in life seems to be safe from my insatiable quest to give it my all. Unless you ask my mother, and she will cheekily inform you that it does not pertain to the organization level in my bedroom.

As a woman, a lot is asked of you. Women and girls have to wear many hats; their lives are in a constant state of dichotomy. Nurture a child and kill in the boardroom. Prioritize your family and chase your dreams. Be kind and thoughtful but be ruthless when seeking victory on the course.

To be a female athlete, you have to be all of it. To be a female professional athlete, you have to be all of it and more.

Somehow you have to be brave enough to believe in yourself. Little girls cannot lose that self-assurance that all toddlers have. They have to be strong enough to think that they can have their cake and eat it too. If they don’t have the gumption to try, they will never figure out that everyone else is wrong.

Life is full of a cascade of choices. Mine have led me to this moment. I am caught somewhere between 20 and 30, trying to balance all of my decisions and observing all of you reconciling yours.

Being more is hard. I’d be lying if I said otherwise.

Every day I challenge myself to be more than what I was the day before: lift more weight, run one more step, make one more putt, hit one more fairway. I challenge myself to be a better daughter, sister, fiancé, friend and competitor. Sometimes I fail, and that’s okay.

Social norms and constructs and other people’s choices have made me feel like I’ve gotten lost at times. I’ve even caught myself feeling guilty for daring to dream big enough to chase my dreams. I hope that you never will feel that. I’m on my own journey and I have my own timeline. I am selfish enough and brave enough to do everything I can to give myself my own kind of fairytale ending. My brain and my heart won’t let me be anything less than everything I’m capable of.

When posing for the picture, Julie picked up the trophy and threw it at me and said, “Here, practice winning!”

Last fall, Julie Inkster spoke at the Schooner Classic in Norman, Oklahoma. While this was an over-the-top, amazing event for a myriad of reasons, hearing a role model of mine speak, then talking with her and getting a quick picture, was icing on the cake.

Julie Inkster is so inspiring to me because of everything she fits into her life. She is a mother, a wife, and a world-class golfer with effortless congeniality and poise. Needless to say, I was pretty excited to hear her speak. However, what she said only made me admire her more; “Golf is what I do; Golf is not who I am. Golf should never define you.”

What a powerful statement that truly is when you take a moment to consider it. “Golf is what I do; Golf is not who I am.” Sometimes it is hard to remember that golf is not a part of and should not be a part of your personal definition of self. I cannot count the number of times I have been introduced to my parents’ friends and co-workers and the first thing they respond with is, “Oh, you’re the one who plays golf?” Or how many times a professor or peer on campus only remembers me as “the golfer.” Now while I spend a copious amount of my time playing golf, it can be easy to start to define myself with it. What an unhappy mistake that can be. Last spring I found myself walking off the course after multiple bad rounds of qualifying, miserable and lost. I felt like my life was sideways and I was so unhappy with everything in my life, because of how I was playing. With the help of my amazing family, boyfriend and swing coach, I was able to realize my mistakes.

One night after crying because I had played badly, my boyfriend, Tyler, looked at me and asked me a tide-changing question, “If golf makes you so upset, then why don’t quit, Alex? I know deep-down you love it, but you aren’t acting like it. Stop letting a few bad days take away something you love.” What a revelation from my non-golf playing boyfriend. I was holding on to the results of my rounds like they defined me and I was using that lens to view the rest of my life through.

All these moments made me own and live an important truth; I am more than just a golfer. I have a wonderful family, a boyfriend who loves me- no matter what score I shoot, the best teammates and great friends. I love to spend time with all of them, I love to give back to my community and I love to learn. I play golf because I love it. Practice is where I find my quiet peace and where I do all my best thinking. Everything makes more sense when I can relax, think and hit some golf balls on the range. I play golf because it is fun and I hope that I never lose sight of that again.